I’d like to start this intolerable rant by giving the giant ‘fuck you shitty magazine’ middle finger to the bathroom-ready Spin Magazine for giving bad reviews to almost every record I’ve liked any songs from in recent memory. I guess when you get paid to write reviews for a living, it’s important to write about stars like Thom Yorke to keep your circulation going. Not that I dislike the Thom Yorke solo album, I just don’t think it’s anything ground-breaking or comparatively interesting. I’ve heard Jeff Buckley and Bjork, I don’t need to hear them filtered through the mouthpiece of a band who’s greatest contribution to music happened 8 years ago or more.

So, obvs, I haven’t been updating on a regular basis and, believe me, it’s not just because I’m hard at work (which I am, mind you). It’s because the middle part of 2006 hasn’t exactly been all that exciting for music. A series of uninspired works have unearthed themselves that don’t bear mentioning in this column. Some might say that I’m jaded or I’m ‘being a hater’. Awwww, puddin’, did I hurt your feelings? I don’t rely on the income from advertisers to my blog in order to survive, so I’m not going to short sheet your musical bed in order to cop a few extra bucks from hawking crap to my readers that I think sucks. If that draws the ire of some who have come to rely on my taste in music, so be it. I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass…..is the name of the new Yo La Tengo album.

I have to think that the lack of inspired sounds stems not from the lack of valiant attempts on the part of musicians out there. It’s a very trying time in my country and my city. The music is reflective of the time from which it comes — war is here and all around us, the cost of everything is going up, and the value of everything is going down. According to the Wall Street Journal, the music business is a lot like the real estate market — that is, overall sales of real estate in the U.S. are down 7% for the 1st quarter of 2006, yet the price of new houses are still on the rise. Sound familiar? Touring bands can’t make any money, venues can’t make any money, records aren’t selling because the industry still releases too much mediocre product, artists can’t afford the cost of gas to get on the road, so the one outlet for musicians to make a living is now being stepped on.

I will say this for Spin Magazine, though — they did have the brains to publish an article about the potential dangers of putting your music on MySpace featuring one of my own heroes Billy Bragg. You do know that when you upload your music to MySpace, you give over your rights to MySpace to use that music for any means that they desire with or without your permission, right? I knew you already knew that, I was just checking! See? Yes, your music can be licensed to film and television, to publishers and CD’s and all kinds of stuff if MySpace wants to do that. Of course, they’re telling everyone that they would never do anything unsavory with your music except allow anyone that connects to MySpace to hear it.

Riiiiiiiight.

So what’s left to do when everything seems to being going to shit and your best friend in developing your craft could turn out to be your worst enemy? Well, keep making music. Duh.

Do you wonder why it is that so many people like Thom Yorke are embarking on solo careers? Why The Who is “reuniting”? Hard times are everywhere, from the Rockefeller Center to the Empire State, from the poverty-stricken inner cities to the beaches of Fire Island and Malibu. If you’re not feeling the pinch, you’re one of the lucky ones. Suddenly, the playing field has been levelled a bit, so the Pinto drivers now have something more in common with the guy who owns the Maserati — because you’re both paying too much for a gallon of gas.

Now you’ve got to stay home and do some work in your bedroom, turn the a/c up on high, sit down with Fruity Loops and your beat up microphone, crank out some jams to end the frustration you’re feeling at not being able to get past that certain point. You’ve got to tune your guitar, spend your savings on the perfect Fender Twin Reverb, put some more RAM in the old laptop and start that project you’ve always wanted to start. Sure there are too many people out there with some musical ability trying to make a living. Sure you know someone who knows someone who knows a guy who is friends with some huge band on MySpace. These are not reasons to quit doing something: these are reasons to start.

Nobody knows what the “next big thing” will be. Nobody’s even sure there is a “next big thing”. One thing everyone does know is that music soothes the savage beast. It tames what is worst inside of all of us and emphasizes what we most want out of the world we live in. Fuck all the bullshit naysayers and haters, fuck all the critics, fuck your parents who don’t like the music you listen to and fuck the parents who listen to the music you like trying to find a way to relate when they don’t know shit about the music or about you because they never bothered to listen until they didn’t like the way you dressed or acted.

Every year can’t be a golden age of music or the arts. Some years just aren’t that good as a whole. There have been some really bright moments in 2006 so far, but it’s hard to put all of those moments into perspective without recognizing that the sum of the parts is really not that amazing. Of the albums on my mid-year list, I can’t tell you how many or which ones I will go back to as time goes by. At least I can’t tell you yet. Only time will tell.

Here’s a list of what I’ve been able to tolerate from this year (so far):

(01) Destroyer - Destroyer’s Rubies
(02) The Knife - Silent Shout
(03) Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
(04) Priestess - Hello Master (Listen to Priestess - Talk To Her)
(05) Camera Obscura - Let’s Get Out Of This Country (Listen to Camera Obscura - Let’s Get Out Of This Country)
(06) Rose Melberg - Cast Away The Clouds (Listen to Rose Melberg -Take Some Time)
(07) J-Dilla Jay Dee - Donuts
(08) Zero 7 - The Garden
(09) Guster - Ganging Up On The Sun (Listen to Guster - Manifest Destiny)
(10) Spank Rock - YoYoYoYoYo
(11) The Futureheads - News & Tributes (Listen To The Futureheads - Fallout)
(12) Midlake - The Trials of Van Ocupanther
(13) The Pipettes - We Are The Pipettes (Listen To The Pipettes - Judy)
(14) Monsters Are Waiting - Fascination (Listen to “Last Goodbye” by Monsters Are Waiting)
(15) Frank Black - Fast Man/Raider Man
(16) Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped (Listen To “Reena” By Sonic Youth)
(17) Boy Kill Boy - Civilian
(18) White Rose Movement - Kick
(19) Juana Molina - Son
(20) Blair Combest - Blair Combest (Listen To Blair Combest -Her Eyes)

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